In our world of prohibitively expensive health care, almost non-existent pension systems, and shaky job security, no one takes a job without finding out all the details on its benefits.  With the scarcity of the benefits I just listed, you have to assume that people are going to be a little more creative these days about what they’re willing to classify as a benefit.  Well, here’s a story that might be worth considering as you cast about for the associated ‘perks’ that go along with your new job.

Terrence Kealey, a Vice Chancellor at the University of Buckingham in England, recently wrote an article for a magazine called the Times Higher Education Magazine.  In said article, he talks about something he considers a ‘perk’ that goes with the job of being a university professor.  That perk would be the attention of female students.

That’s right, Dr. Kealey feels that female students who strut their stuff in the classroom and ask for extra help at the end of the class, should be consciously indulged in as subjects of fantasy and stimulation.  His rationale for this is that the professor can then take that tempting titillation and turn it towards other treats -namely, his own arousal as he services his wife later in the evening.

Ok, that’s not a direct quote or anything but, believe me, it’s way more than close enough for government work.  You can see for yourself here.  Don’t worry though, there are a couple of direct quotes that more than make up for my paraphrasing.  For instance, the article about the article states that he:

and that female students should be images:

So what do I think about this?  Well, I’m not a college professor but if I were, I suspect my wife would be somewhat..mm.. distant for quite some time once she got wind of this article.  I mean, regardless of what he’s got going on in his own head, he’s idiotically  messing up the romantic lives of his colleagues by saying this crap.  

Let’s face it, he’s not necessarily saying that all professors do this but romance is a matter of the heart and isn’t given to rational consideration.  Whether professors do this or not, women who are married to professors will feel like they do whenever they lay down together.

As if that weren’t bad enough, he’s not simply saying that he himself does this, he’s saying that all professors should do this!

He did state later that it was intended to be a piece of comedic writing but there’s way too much detail here for any of it to be taken as humor -let alone fiction.

In case I forgot to mention it before, it happens that Dr. Kealey is not a comedian, he’s a clinical bio-chemist.  Now think about how many of those you know.  Ok, now think about how many of those are masters of comedy -or even social skills.  Exactly.

Dr. Kealey, please, please, please stick to your day job.  If you start broadening your commentary, the future of humanity could very well be at risk.

Source:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/8270475.stm

]]> http://bandage.wordpress.com/2009/09/24/you-were-always-on-my-mind/feed/ 2 Bandage http://bandage.wordpress.com/2009/09/21/shafts-rods-nuts-and-machines-or-how-to-properly-care-for-your-toys/ http://bandage.wordpress.com/2009/09/21/shafts-rods-nuts-and-machines-or-how-to-properly-care-for-your-toys/#comments Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:56:21 +0000 bandage http://bandage.wordpress.com/2009/09/21/shafts-rods-nuts-and-machines-or-how-to-properly-care-for-your-toys ]]>

Shafts, Rods, Nuts, and Machines
or
How to Properly Care for Your Toys

Ok, after taking some time off, I’m going to start with a story referred to me by our old friend, Lacy, and also one which must be considered the next installment in what has become sort of an accidental ‘series’ in this blog.

This series to which I refer is one involving sexual gratification using machines.  As titillating as this might already sound, you must realize that such a topic would be far too conventional to focus on here.  The machines we’re concerned with weren’t originally designed with sex in mind.

The two previous posts referred to a man who likes to ride all types of cars, and a woman who likes to ride one particularly special roller coaster.  Yes, the word ‘ride’ is indeed a metaphor for what you’re imagining.

While these two were a fun pair to blog about, today’s stud might actually be the icing on the cake as well as the natural extension of such misadventures (no, ‘cake icing’ and ‘extension’ are not necessarily sexual metaphors there).

46-year-old Danny Brawner of Albuquerque, New Mexico provides us with this week’s case study on this phenomenon.  He was arrested last month when he was witnessed doing the dirty deed with this his car in a grocery store parking lot.  You’ve probably wondered about the mechanics of this fetish so, as an added BONUS and because you ACTED NOW, today we get to take a step closer to that insight as we read the detailed description of how Danny was seen with his pants around his ankles ‘humping’ his car, while swinging his arms in the air and shouting loudly… 

Just take a minute to put that image together….  That my friends is a man who loves what he’s doing.

As a little epilogue here, police ultimately arrived on the scene to find Danny and his car in their warm afterglow, with Danny intoxicated and passed out on the pavement.

Hmmm… the more cases we look at, the more familiar this behavior starts to appear, no?  -or is it just me?


Sources:
 http://band1967.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!18221ED62041AF8B!876.entry

http://band1967.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!18221ED62041AF8B!774.entry

http://www.theweeklyvice.com/2009/08/danny-brawner-loves-his-car-little-too.html


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Being the Best Starts with Wanting to be the Best

You guys ever see that movie, Nurse Betty?  If not, it’s a movie about a woman who essentially goes a bit crazy and believes herself to be a nurse.  Believe it or not (Well actually, I’m sure you’ll have no trouble believing it), today’s story concerns a woman who fits this general description quite well.

Nurse Lichtenstein has been working with Dr. Gerald Weiss as a registered nurse for some time.  Apparently, she’s been doing a relatively good job of it because her boss, Dr. Weiss, agreed to speak at a dinner given in her honor by the Connecticut Nursing Association where she was honored as being ‘Nurse of the Year for 2008.’

However, as you can tell from the opening here, things might not be quite as they seem.  To begin with, Nurse Lichtenstein was arrested earlier this year for trying to use a forged prescription to get her hands on 96 Oxycodone pills.  Then, a few months ago, a patient complained that his medication was injected too quickly and, for whatever reason, the police somehow got involved again shortly afterward.

When the police arrived at the Doctor’s office, they asked to see Nurse Lichtenstein’s license to practice as a registered nurse.  As you might guess, although I’m sure they looked and looked, no license was forthcoming.  As the story unravels further, it turns out that no such credentials exist, nor is there any such organization as the Connecticut Nursing Association.

It seems that Nurse Lichtenstein made up the whole thing and even paid for the dinner at which she had her boss speak.

So you see, we really do have a Nurse Betty here, and what do you suppose her first name is?  That’s right, it’s Betty… I sh*t you not…

Epilogue:

This is one scary-ass b*tch…

Source:

http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local-beat/Nurse-Betty-Plays-Pretend-52626832.html

Do You Really Have NOTHING Better to Do With Your Time?
 

http://www.liveleak.com/e/6fe_1249330805

]]> http://bandage.wordpress.com/2009/08/04/do-you-really-have-nothing-better-to-do-with-your-time/feed/ 0 Bandage http://bandage.wordpress.com/2009/08/01/smoke-em-if-ya-got-em/ http://bandage.wordpress.com/2009/08/01/smoke-em-if-ya-got-em/#comments Sat, 01 Aug 2009 04:41:17 +0000 bandage http://bandage.wordpress.com/2009/08/01/smoke-em-if-ya-got-em ]]>